Wahala For Who No Get Dollar

I have been on Twitter for 10 years, and one thing that has not changed is the (often condescending) free-flowing financial advice. Every single day there is someone somewhere, talking about just how stupid/silly/foolish/daft/dumb/stupid people who aren’t “insert x financial action” are. At this point, it’s exhausting, and very often, amusing. On social media, everyone is just the best version of a human being to exist; super kind and thoughtful, engaging, great listeners, well-travelled, wonderful sense of humour, sexually adventurous, open-minded, and most importantly, rich. Very rich 

If I didn’t know I lived in Nigeria, I would be carried away by some of the conversations we have all the time. Money always puts people’s backs up, but the proliferation of social media means that luxury somehow seems more commonplace. Instagram, the influencer industry, and flex culture really have people thinking thousand dollar bags and shoes, luxurious holidays, and expensive restaurants are everyday things and that if you can’t talk about these then there is something horribly, terribly wrong.

What’s more absurd is this attitude showing up in Nigerian conversations. Now don’t get me wrong, we are just as entitled as any other set of people to posit opinions but I cannot get over the fantastic level of fronting that goes on. Look my dears, I know money is weird, and many times we feel under pressure to seem successful and we have our lives together and don’t want to look small or poor in front of strangers but really and truly, the statistics confirm that many, if not most of us, are outright lying or “confessing positively” about what we buy/spend/acquire and our relationships with money. 

Nigeria is currently in the toilet in very many ways, economically, socially, spiritually, and even sexually. I know it sounds like I’m exaggerating but I really am not oh. Nothing is really working. The government is running on fumes, vibes, and a deep hatred of knowledge. COVID is still doing legwork across the country, and considering the fact that Nigeria has put not a single dime towards research or global efforts in finding a vaccine, we are now using style to beg other countries not to leave us behind or some shit. Money is losing value daily, and it’s not because everyday people are not working hard, it’s just that the country is being managed abominably. More than half of the population lives below the poverty line and the minimum wage is 30,000 Naira a month. So all this condescension about compounding and dollars and bitcoin and what not is cute but the same way the government cant mismanage the economy into prosperity, the social media division of billionaire boys cannot insult you into prosperity.

If you don’t have dollar, you don’t have. If you are not making enough to save, that’s the way it is and if you can’t afford to take certain advice, nobody can beat you. 

I want to conclude with a humble plea that we don’t feel under pressure to pretend that our finances are on a certain level. You are more than what you have or make, and people may call you razz or poor or whatever but imagine being in a situation where you’ve talked yourself into a situation that is financially “more than you”. 

I know this a bit of a rant but I got a message today from a sweet young woman about how she is about to never ever succeed because she can’t afford to take certain financial advice right now. My dear, we are many. It will be okay. 

Is there any time you’ve felt the need to lie about the state of your finances? What financial advice makes your heart beat or feel left behind. 

(Cash Madam Collective soon come by the way. Be excited about that!) 


  • Maryann

    This is so true. I sometimes feel out of place because I can't relate to most of these luxuries that now seem to be seen as the norm and the fact that I can't afford to right now makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. But I'm trying. I really am

  • Maryam

    It's the 'confessing' positively part that is sending me🤣 As much as I have seen a lot of dollars, bitcoin, euro bonds tweets on my TL, I have also seen an almost equal amount of 'don't let these twitter billionaires club people tension you' tweets on my TL today. Talk about balance. I have never lied about the state of my finances anywhere on Larry Page's Internet but sometimes it is hard not to feel some typa way about those financial advice/security tweets. Then again, it's social media! People dey lie baje, after I close the app, whether twitter or Instagram, I forget that these people exist. It helps to not spend so much time dwelling on how lavish people appear to live on the Internet.

  • Maybe I am Just Tired

    Thank you so much for this rant. I'm 23 and still in school because of ASUU. I come online and see 21 year olds "taking a hold of their finances" and I am here, asking my father for data money.😭 It's really difficult to not get into an "am I ever going to make it" spiral. But then I ask myself what I can do beyond rob a bank and I suddenly find some peace away from the noise. Stock market and dollar investment advice make me feel left behind. All dem mutual fund, kinikan equity, bonds and the likes. They all leave me Confused and in disarray.

  • Sumbo

    You are damn right & I won’t even advice anyone who doesn’t have enough to invest in $$ because the money has also been doing Zanku all along. I don‘t ever have need to lie about my financial status because I know who I am, all I am worth & there’s no shame in saying „I can’t afford it“. Short gist - 3 Months ago I was at the verge of changing € to # because of the exchange rate. If I had done that back then, my # would have devalued so bad - Moral of the story don‘t always go with the flow, find your Rhythm at your own pace.

  • J

    Thanks for this rant Jola. I've been in this situation a couple of times where I had to lie or pretend to have more money than I actually had. It ended in premium tears for me, I racked up so much debts (I'm still paying of some of the debts till today, everything I got while fronting, I've had to sell them off) in trying to pretend to be living a certain lifestyle which I wasn't up to. My little advice to anyone reading this is, dey your dey, don't try to fake it. You'll be okay at the end of the day.

  • A O

    ‘Earn in dollars, remotely’ is financial advice especially by Tech Bros that breaks my heart and makes me feel like I’d never be rich or even nearly comfortable.

  • Mi.

    I remember feeling down when everyone kept talking about how they bought bitcoin at early and how wise they were to have bought dollars early. Well I didn't and I'm going to stop feeling bad that I didn't, now that I know I'm not alone. Thanks Jola ❤️

  • Oiza

    True oh "invest in dollar, invest in dollar" please dears I'm broke

  • Aby

    I stopped saving earlier this year because it honestly wasn't making sense. I know ppl say what you do with 100k is what you'll do with 1 million, but I just couldn't see the point if struggling to save like 20k monthly only to have to withdraw it in an emergency or have to say no to outings, buying clothes I need etc. It wasn't even a matter of discipline because I'm not a wasteful person or impulse spender. I don't regret it. Hopefully soon I'll be earning enough to save but till then abeg I can't come and die.

  • CQ

    Anytime a family relative calls, my heart goes gbim gbim. I’ll announced that I’m not giving anyone anything again until next year.

  • Mariee

    I relate with this so much. I can barely save the naira that i earn talkmore of converting it to dollars. The last few months have taken a toll on my self-esteem because whenever i come online, it seems like everyone is earning in dollars or striking deals and I'm just here managing my teaching job. It gets exhausting but I've learnt to ignore and shut out the noise and just focus on my journey and how to earn better. I'm 20 for Christ's sake, i should give myself a chill pill.

  • Elyon Famoriyo

    lol na who get money dey buy forex and bitcoin

  • Shalewarh

    Most times, it's this investing shiit but what breaks me more is when I need to go out with my friends to an "exotic" place and I don't have the money. Some people sometimes feel like I'm doing it on purpose and in my mind I'm like "you mean you can't really see this brokeness in me"😂😂😂

  • Nonye

    All die na die, but it's not people and their nonsense expectations that will kill me

  • Àlá.d

    Thank you for this, I don't believe in saving for the sake of saving or just to show off and tell people that I have savings and all that.. I save to buy what I want then start over. If I'm broke, fine... Na money I no get I no kill person

  • Debs

    You're so right ehn.....I have gotten to a point of my life that if I don't have, then I don't have niyen. If I can't afford it, then I can't afford it niyen. Nobody can comman put me under unnecessary pressure, living in Nigeria is enough pressure already.

  • Precious Okhimamhe

    Lie about my finances?? Yes I have to be honest. This was just me trying to act cool in front of people but I wish I didn't till this day but it is what it is. Society puts so much pressure on people to be a certain kind of way before they can be recognised. It's crazy! We go dey alright las las.

  • Desire

    I was going to write a long comment but all the comments here have spoken my mind- and I love it.

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