What’s Your Dream Superpower?

This blogpost is one million percent inspired by the current banter on Twitter, around black people waking up with magical powers on the 21st of December*. 

Now many people are talking about being able to read minds, healing people with the touch of a hand, time travel etc. Some people even have lofty reasons; like trying to help people. Drop me out please, for my desired super power is a big bum. Yes, you heard me right, a fat ass! 

I cannot tell you how, or why, but I am absolutely confident that I would be a much better human being and able to change the world with a big (soft) bum. Maybe it will be the way I talk, the way my clothes will fit, my joy which will be infectious, eventually leading to world peace. 

Look, I have been walking past mirrors all day, looking for improvement to kick in, a sudden tightness in my trousers… anything. So far, nothing has happened, but I’m a woman of faith. Little jiggles make a big kaboom (I don’t know what this means, but it’s provocative). 

Anyway, what is your dream superpower? 

13 Comments

  • Shalewarh

    My dream superpower is having enough confidence to do everything I want and also the money to take care of my loved ones. Yeah I lirru bit of bumbum will be appreciated as well😂

  • Mariee

    Mine would be to be able to predict accurately, the fall and rise of Bitcoin and stocks. That way, I'll be sort after and people from all over the world would pay me heavily. I'll be cashing out on a stead.

  • Rebecca

    Remembrance because I really do be forgetting.

  • Opemi

    My dream superpower would be to time travel to certain dates just to relive the moments and re-feel all the feelings I felt at the time

  • Titoh

    Before you mentioned the big bum my dream superpower was to be able to do anything without standing up like just thinking about it and the work gets done but now they're tight contenders

  • Esta

    My dream superpower would be to have enough confidence to do a lot of things without overthinking or second guessing and maybe 🤔🤔 a little more bum would do.

  • Elyon

    teleportation, so that i can travel without getting on planes because i hate flying

  • Debs

    My dream super power is being invisible and being able to read minds.

  • Omowaleayo

    My dream superpower is to not have to do anything and still have enough money to live. I already have the doing nothing part down, I just need the money

  • Roudiyah

    My dream superpower is invisibility so I can do amebo very well😂😂😂

  • Sinmiloluwa

    To think that I've got the bum of an average thicc lady (I'm a 21 yo man btw). It's uncomfortable for me, although, ladies like caress it every now and then, it still is uncomfortable for me. Anyway, my dream superpower is being able to see and alter the future. Unending curiosity and anxiety is one hell of a mixture I'd prefer to do away with.

  • Chi baby

    Jola I want to be able to teleport o! Go to exotic locations. I'm in a long distance relationship so I also want to visit my man more frequently and without too much logistics 😭

  • Temi

    I love all your Jay Z/Kanye song references! LOL. The bounce will come!

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